One Month Old!

Our little boy is one month old today!  It really is true that it goes so fast.  We can't believe that one month of his little life has already disappeared....although we aren't too sad that this last month is done, because it was one doozy of a month!  Hopefully the next month won't hold quite as many challenges.  I know that there are many joys to come, along with some new speed bumps, but we are looking forward to all of them.

Here are some pictures and video for you to enjoy of our one month old - and all his cute little faces (including some smiles--they are like gold!).

I'm a big boy now!

Today Ben had his one month checkup at the doctor.  I wasn't concerned about his growth, but as a new mom you want to make sure your little one is healthy and on track.  Well now, there is certainly no doubt, our boy is doing well.  Our tiny newborn is now a whopping 10 lb. 9oz. and 22.5 inches long!  That puts him in the 85% for length and the 75% for weight.  He is a big boy now!

I of course had to brag on my boy and tell the doctor how he is starting to smile in response to us talking and playing with him and how he loves tummy time.  She was quite impressed that he is doing so well for a 4 week old, but I am not surprised, because I already knew that he is the best kid in the whole wide world!  (I have been waiting so long to be able to bust a few buttons over my child!)  Did I mention that he lifts his head up really well and can turn it side to side while on his tummy?  I am pretty sure he is going to compose a symphony next.....or maybe just roll over. :)


There is nothing like being a mom to humble you.  I felt like I was finally in my stride and getting the hang of this new role, and then Ben up and decides that he won't take a bottle and would like to make breastfeeding more difficult.  It amazes me how a previously put together, mostly stable mommy, can so quickly fall apart.  Fortunately there are lactation consultants with great advice, a husband with great hugs and a mom with great encouragement.  It really is a full time job to figure out this feeding thing and get it right.  And like most jobs, it is all about on the job training, and a big learning curve!  The good news is that he is eating, gaining lots of weight, and doing well in spite of his worried mom.  


With the extra weight, Ben is just getting cuter and cuter.  His cheeks are just even more kissable and he is inching his way out of his newborn clothes.  It is a good thing that he is so cute, especially when he has moments like this morning when he had projectile poop (yes, I did say projectile poop--us moms use fancy words like that) all over his outfit, the changing table, and a pile of clothes nearby.  Not 10 minutes later he decided that wasn't enough and peed through his new outfit and the blanket he was lying on.  Then this afternoon he decided to attempt his aim again and got me, his clothes and the poor changing table again with a urine fountain mid diaper change.  I have never done so much laundry in my life!

At the end of the day, after a dozen diapers, fussies, hiccoughs, several naps (some successful and some failed), and a few loads of laundry, I can still say that this is the best job ever.  I looked over at my husband last night while he was on the floor next to Ben, cheering him on as he turned his head, reveling in every face and movement Ben made.  I realized that this is my favorite place to be, with my incredible husband and my precious son.

A Berry Fun Outing

We took advantage of Wednesday's cooler weather and ventured out on a fun adventure to Mountainview Blueberry Farm!  Ben enjoyed a cozy snuggle in the Moby wrap and Linda, Mom and I had fun wandering through the bushes gathering berries.  Many other families were out and it was so fun to see all the little kids picking with their families.  We overheard one little boy tell his mom, "These aren't fresh ones, Mom - they are all wrinkly!"

I had fun remembering one of my favorite childhood books, Blueberries For Sal, where a little girl goes blueberry picking with her mom on a hillside.  Little Sal picks the berries and they go "kerplink, kerplank, kerplunk" in her little pail.  And then she promptly eats them and starts all over again.  Made me smile as my berries hit the pail and my own little one snoozed away against my chest.  

There will be lots of blueberry pancakes, blueberry crisp, and blueberry muffins in our house these next few weeks!

Sweet Moments

If it is at all possible, I think Ben has gotten even cuter.  It might have something to do with the fact that I am finally healing, nursing is much less painful, and I am sleeping better (or just getting used to less sleep :).  It is amazing how less pain and more sleep can affect your perspective on EVERYTHING.  

Every time I walk into his room and see this little bundle in the crib, I am just amazed that my dream has come true, and that the little bundle is my son.  Even if that little bundle is screeching at 2 in the morning, he is still so precious and I just can't keep from kissing and cuddling him.  
He seems to be growing before our eyes.  Yesterday during tummy time he lifted up his head (which he has been working on for awhile, and doing quite well for such a little guy!) and turned to rest his head on the left side, then picked it up and turned to rest it on the right--at just under 3 weeks old!  And today, while on his Gran's lap, he gave us what I would consider a real smile in response to us talking and playing with him.  Waketime now includes wide open eyes, occasional coos, and lots of looking around.  

It has been such a joy to have John's mom (Gran) here to stay with us this last week.  She has been so helpful, doing all the housework that has gone by the wayside while I am learning this mom thing, and loving on Ben every second she can.  There have been a few days when my mom comes over too and then Ben just gets oozed on with double Grandma loving.  The two of them are just adorable--melting over every little face and wiggle that he makes.  Grandmas are the greatest!

This last weekend we ventured out for our first church outing!  Ben did amazingly well and slept through the whole service (of course, half the congregation did too with temperatures in the 90's outside and no air conditioning inside :).  We had so much fun introducing him to all our friends and all those who have prayed for us and have celebrated with us at his arrival.  It felt like such a victory to be able to make it to church, on time and in one piece.  But most of all it just refreshed and renewed my heart to be among my church family, join in worship and hear good teaching.  
Being a new mom can feel isolating, even with all the visitors and things going on around you.  The emotions and concerns and worries can take hold and make you feel like you are swimming alone in the deep end.  But coming back to familiar things, having family around to give reminders of what is true and that things will indeed even out and get better is like having a big float to hold onto.  God brought me to this perfect verse the other day, when I was choking a bit in my deep end.  

 "The floods have lifted up, O Lord, the floods have lifted up their voice;

the floods lift up their waves.  

But the Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, 

than the mighty waves of the sea." 

Psalm 93:3-4

How anyone does this mommy thing, or life at all, without the Lord is a mystery to me.  He has been my Rock and my sure footing through all this and I praise Him for his faithfulness to me and our little family.

First bottle with Daddy!  Our little guy took it like a champ - hooray!

First visit with a friend!  Jaden Curtis came to play last week...hopefully the first of many playdates!  Ben looked so tiny next to 6 month old Jaden, but he will soon catch up with all the eating he has been doing!

Tummy time!

My sleepy boys.....like father, like son

Ben's shirt says "If you think I am handsome you should see my daddy"

Snuggles with Gran

Grandma loves me so much!

"I love hearing to talk to me, Gran!"

First time at church!

A face that always makes me smile!

This is the contented little face I see after each feeding that makes it all worth it to be up at all hours of the night!

The New Normal

Amazing. . . how 8 pounds, 3 ounces can rock your world.  These last couple of weeks we have experienced so many emotions, so many changes and we keep searching for what used to be normal.  It is a new normal now--a normal that only stays the same for a few hours and then, what do you know, it up and changes again!  So interesting how becoming a parent changes your perspective on things.  We now get excited about the changing of poop color, celebrate an umbilical cord falling off, and cheer on our baby when he has a good burp.  A 2-3 hour stretch of sleep is a victory and we are completely content to watch him do absolutely nothing....for hours.  Yep....new normal.

Last week was quite a big week for Ben.  He finally lost his umbilical cord, he had his first real bath, his first outing (out to lunch with Mom and Dad and Jenny and I), and he seems to have moved past eating every hour or two to a 3 hour schedule by day and a 3-4 hour schedule by night!  Our little boy is already growing up!  Friends and family have commented that he looks different now-more of a baby instead of an infant/newborn.  It is hard for us to see it, since we see him all day, every day, but he does have much more awake time with wide open eyes taking in all that is around him.  We have so much fun talking with him and playing with him, even if there isn't any reaction.  I can't imagine how thrilling it will be when we actually get a response!  

I am healing up and it is getting easier to get around and do things, though I still have to take it slow and have restrictions on lifting and exercising for another month due to the surgery.   I am finding that I don't mind, though.  I am just fine to be at home all day, with an occasional visitor, and just be with my little boy and my John.  My extroverted personality has become content with this simple life we now have.  

I had my first outing without Ben today - a coffee date with my dad while my mom watched Ben for an hour or so.  It was so strange to be just me, without Ben nearby or in my arms.  It was good to be able to have a little break, but I sure did miss my little one.  My dad gave me some great advice. . . .to cherish all these moments, even the frustrating and inconvenient ones.  Because there will be a day when I look back and long to rock him to sleep, or hear his little sounds in the night, or give up whatever I am doing to care for my tiny little son.  What a great reminder it was....because every moment is precious and will never happen again.  I need to remember that, at 3 in the morning when my eyes will barely stay open, and when, like today, he wakes 4 or 5 times out of his nap with gas and won't be consoled without being held.  This little squeaky bundle of blonde hair and blue eyes is my dream come true.  My long awaited answer to prayer and I am so thankful for him. . . .and all his moments. :)

the whole family (minus Uncle Drew)

first real bath in the kitchen sink!

the only smiles we get right now are usually in his sleep and are accompanied by sound effects in the diaper :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                        

one of my favorite outfits on him - my little froggy

How could you NOT stare at this adorable face all day?!

Ben LOVES to be held by Daddy and hear his voice

Ben meets George!

my favorite guys!

Family Time

I am just overwhelmed. . . with a lot of things, but mostly with the joy of having our little family of 3.  Early this morning, sometime between tired and drowsy, Ben was wide awake, so we bundled him up and laid him between us in bed and had a little family time.  Our favorite time is when his eyes are open, looking around, taking everything in.  He makes little faces. . .yawns, "o" mouth, furrowed brow, sometimes a smile, tongue sticking in and out. . . and we just can't get enough of watching our beautiful little boy.  John was talking to him, telling him all about how we waited so long for him to come and how God was faithful to bring him just at the right time.  Then he started telling him about what Sunday was, the day that we go to church.  He explained what church was and why we go.  I found tears streaking down my cheeks, as I often do these days, listening to the tender voice of my husband teaching our 6 day old about God.  Not only was I blessed with a precious little boy but I have been abundantly blessed with an amazing husband.

This afternoon during another awake time we had family church.  John read some passages from the Bible outloud and we prayed and sang some of our favorite worship songs together.  Ben watched us from my lap with such wide open eyes, listening to the voices he has heard all his little life.  Then we took communion, with crackers and juice we found in the cupboard, and held hands with Ben as we prayed and ate the bread and drank the cup.  What a precious time to share as a family and what an incredible moment to store up in my heart.

We have also been blessed to have my mom and dad and sister here with us every day to help. . .and what a help they have been.  Extra hands to make meals, clean up, hold Ben, burp Ben, walk Ben, change Ben, do laundry, and hold up tired weepy momma when she needs hugs and reminders that it is all going to be okay.  I don't know what we would do without them and it has made the transition to being at home so much better.  And John has been incredible.  He is ever calm, ever peaceful, ever helpful.  He does anything and everything he can to make it easier on me. . .holding a fussy baby for awhile longer to give me a break, holding me and giving me comfort, changing icky meconium diapers, changing sheets that have been peed on, waking up with me to help me get out of bed to feed Ben.  I knew he would be good at this father thing, but I didn't realize he would be THIS good!


This new parent thing is not for sissies, and it is a lot of work.  There are moments, like last night, when I feel like the world in caving in on me.  When Ben is crying and wants to eat even though it has only been an hour. . . again. . .and the thought of him latching on again just makes me want to cry because of how much it is going to hurt, and I am tired and feeling like I should be able to fix the crying and I can't always do it, and wondering if I will ever feel like normal again as the emotions crash over me like tidal waves.  Niagra Falls is ever at the edge of my tear ducts for moments like this and it just feels strange to be in my own skin.

And then the morning comes, and there is sun again, and my little boy looks up at me with wide open eyes and snuggles into my chest and my husband holds me in his arms and takes such gentle care of me and I know that my Father in heaven is holding me too.  Having time to spend with my Father and extra naps this morning have made me a new person and there is joy in my heart today, especially after spending such sweet time with John and Ben, that this new "normal" is going to be a wonderful thing.  

Here are some more photos of our little Ben!

Last day at the hospital, and going home!

  First time in the carseat for the trip home!

  Home at last, snuggling where I belong!

                                 Flowers from Gran and Pops

                                     

   Auntie Jenny makes me smile!

Ben looks so tiny in his Grandpa's arms. . . Ben is wearing a little romper with a Woody and a surfboard on top (Grandpa liked this one because he used to surf :)

 
Wide awake for church this afternoon!