It was bound to happen....

I have been coaching myself since before I was even pregnant that I would never become that over-concerned, paranoid first-time mom who runs around worrying about every little thing.  Well, today I met her....in the mirror, unfortunately.

A few red acne looking spots had popped up on Ben's face, and I had handled their arrival in stride.  No big deal, just newborn acne.  Then they began to spread to both cheeks and forehead.  Still doing ok, no need to worry, just newborn acne.  Then his ears, neck, upper back and chest broke out, and the redness seemed to get worse and all of a sudden the calm composure was gone and I was nervously asking other moms what to do, looking up his symptoms on the internet, researching different creams and lotions to use, and even having strange dreams about Ben being in danger and having to protect him.  Yep, the mama bear instincts kicked in full gear and I was a full-blown, paranoid, first time mom.  

 So, with only a small amount of embarrassment, I took Ben to the pediatrician today just to make sure that it was indeed just acne and not some rare aggressive rash with a terminal prognosis (as I was secretly fearing).  And sure enough, with a smile on her face, the pediatrician assured me that my sweet infant had a case of very normal baby acne.  Treatment: stop worrying and let him have red blotchy cheeks.

I finally am understanding what every other mother in the world experiences.  Anything that happens to my child is so significant and if something might possibly be wrong or be causing him pain, I am ready to walk over hot coals to protect him.  It is such a fierce emotion, and even though I knew it would happen, it has surprised me with its intensity.  I love that little boy with everything that is in me...and more.  He has become this treasure beyond value whom I would die for, if I had to.  Sounds something like a Father I know, who did just that.  How like our God to allow us a glimpse of His love, and heartache over us in the human relationship experience of being a parent.  How amazing to realize that what we experience is a faint shadow of His love for us.  

So today I hug and kiss my little one, pimples and all, giving thanks for my Father who holds and loves me, flaws and all.


Here are the latest pictures of some Grandma and Grandpa time and bath time.....